Apple: "Man, f**k Firewire!"

Look, I know that FW800 is backwards compatible with FW400, but I'm using both the 400 and 800 ports on my current laptop. I consider the lack of the FW400 port on the Pro somewhat of a big deal.

I'm also not precisely thrilled about the regular MacBook, wholly lacking Firewire. This used to be the portable do-gooder for musicans with Firewire gear. Well, screw all that! Get the bigger one for almost twice the price! At least the plastic one is still around :)

New Macbooks: brand confusion and overlap

No real surprises during the Macbook talk in Cupertino -most of the material leaked already. On the surface, things are fine, but there are some glitches in what most people seem to consider a great step up. There is *way* too much overlap.

Let's recap

• What's the next reduction from a single button? That's right! None!
  
• Equalized hardware architecture for MacBook, MacBook Air and MacBook Pro. All have the same base IGP solution (G9400M) inside a single-chip mainboard solution from the blood-thirsty demons who bought the demoscene and forgot to tell the world they screwed up a whole generation of graphics cards -Nvidia
• The MacBook Pro has an additional G9600M GT 512Mb.
• New 24" display with iSight, speakers, mini DisplayPort and a MagSafe connector (which I really, really like).
• The oldskool Macbook in white plastic gets a price drop for being such a good sell all these years.
  

Overlap

• Every new MacBook (regular, Air or Pro), now shares the same hardware architecture. You're essentially presented with a number of speed-bumps and additions/reductions at a financial premium. Plenty of the disparity of old MBP with the MB are gone -up to the plastic vs. alu casing and hen you really look at things like an end-user, the difference between the MacBook and the MacBook Air is how much junk can plug into it.
  
  During QA the question was raised whether the new MacBook was going to eat away at the MacBook Pro market. They don't seem to think so, but I have strong doubts there.
• The new 24" display costs twice that of a competing screen. On top of that, it has to compete with the old 20", 24" and 30" siblings in sales. With the craziness for matte screens among professionals, don't think they'll fall from grace just yet.
• Not only does the MacBook Pro muddle affairs with the BTO models of the MacBook, it discredits its big brother: the 17" MacBook Pro (still awaiting the refresh).
• Worse still: the spiffy new MacBook has to deal with its plastic predecessor -with a slight price cut. Apple used to sell EOL overstock through their Apple stores at a cut, but this is a new turn of events. I'm not sure how this is supposed to be an entry-level solution -netbooks sold at half price can (illegally) run OS X just fine.
• No significant design or technology gap sets the MacBook Air apart from either the regular or the Pro model. You're ending up paying way more for slightly less of possibilities and ports to stuff plugs in. I honestly doubt that the e-penis envy of the old Air will work with the new model.

I liked the old proposition: MacBook for regular users, MacBook Pro for professionals (or rubes like myself) and eventually the MacBook Air for people who seriously believe that there is such a thing as an answer to ultra-portable computers from Apple (it's expensive, after all).

Busybodies, flies not being on me

I've been beyond negligent with the blagging experience for some months now. Fact is, I'm busy. Trainings, seminars, a webhosting apocalypse and exciting changes at work... you name it.

I've been jarring up on some things: the Hackintosh, why I wasn't at Breakpoint (or any demo party outside Evoke and Outline for that matter), my conclusion as to how serious we can take the professional underpinnings of HTML5 and why I'm seriously going to be buying a handheld device from Apple.

I'm sure there's at least two people who remotely care.

Hackintosh

Marvel at the pristine beauty of my latest pet project:



While it may look like a clown car accident for computer parts, it's actually a computer, cobbled together from a few leftover parts and two new ones. And it runs Mac OS X like a dream.

I'll yammer on about it in the near future. It's pretty neat.

Bluetooth Mice -Oh how much fun there is to be had

The midget sibling of the Wireless Laser 8000 I graciously dubbed best for throwing at oysters, the Microsoft Wireless Laser 5000, is even more fun. It actually came without any dongle, which was promising. Maybe it actually would run out of the box! Never fear, it was not to be -it ran fine under Boot Camp but refused to do anything involving pointers moving across the screen in OS X.

I have caved in and bought the Mighty Mouse. It's a weird device and my short thumb cannot reach the squeeze buttons, but quite frankly I don't care. It works, doesn't look like a cheap transformer bootleg toy and saves me another dongle.

Think different

What a difference a different Mac store makes. After my hilarious encounters with the batshit employees of iCentre, I decided to bring my latop to a different Apple outlet in order to check out my wonky backlit keyboard.

The tech guy took it to the back (probably to reset the P-RAM), figured out it was definitely a hardware error and proceeded to process the replacement of the keyboard. No accusations of customer abuse, no 2-3 weeks of impound for my laptop while waiting for a replacement keyboard to arrive. Nada.

While browsing for the right part, we even came to the point where he ordered the much-coveted USA keyboard part -at no extra charge, which is a bizarre contrast to "that will cost you at least 130 euros, so don't bother".

Once the part arrives ("in about a week") I can just sling my machine over their counter and have the whole thing done "in two days, tops".

I wish I had the precognition to buy my laptop at this place in the first place.

Screw you, Capslock.

I've certainly heard of this feature in the past, but after tonight I can vouch for its brilliance: Aluminum Apple keyboards have a safeguard against accidental Capslock key press, making it less likely TO TYPE LIKE THE LESS INTELLIGENT PEOPLE ON THE iNTERNET (spelling corrected).

I'm sure Bruce D. will argue it's a feature to hide Apple users in plain sight of intelligent computer users, but I don't care -I happen to think it's a pretty neat touch.

What's more, I couldn't fail noticing that for some reason Capslock actually stays all-caps, so using the Shift key will not result in lowercase letters.

Best bunch of buttons I touched since the TR-909? Maybe not, but close.

Why would you want to have a US keyboard? -Closure of sorts

Ha! Nothing like beating the system from the least probable angle. I know it was never really personal, but screw your weird sales policy on keyboards, Apple! Not only have I managed to get my mitts on a regular US international Apple keyboard, it even came with a bonus.

I'm currently typing this on a wireless Apple keyboard, which my parents were kind enough to bring along from their latest trip to South Korea. This comes with a trinity of awesome:

1. The Korean Won is tied to the US Dollar. Cheap(ish)!
2. The keyboard is actually sold in the US international layout. My crusade is over.
3. Hangul characters pre-printed on the keys. No more weird stickers or cheatsheets!

So goodbye Logitech Ultra-X, it's been swell!

Since I'm in no mood to write about my lost month, here's a picture of me looking like a dork with my new keyboard.

Not about keyboards this time.

Stupidity had better come to either full circle or some hilarious singularity, because the Mac store is full of it.

To recap the previous hilarity: salespeople full of crap, incapable to memorize details of the most restrained line of hardware in the computing industry and pretty much unable to understand the difference between the picture on the website and the keyboard in their hands.

Sadly, I was forced to deal with them once more -courtesy of my own persistence to deal with the reseller before brand. I might as well have put a puppy in a blender for effect, the outcome was just as predictable.

So what happened

To my horror, I noted that the power adapter of my MBP had developed a weird defect - the insulation of the power cord had started to retract from the adapter, giving unconcerned people ample time to handle a bare electrical wire. There were no signs of the typical "frayed magsafe" scenario, but it certainly looked like a warranty case.

Fortunately, the Mac store had other ideas about that.

First glance from a sales clerk gave the expert conclusion that this was a clear-cut case of wear and tear. I reminded him of the fact that the adapter came with a laptop a few months back. I did't add that this kind of "logic" implied that the average life span of power adapters from Apple is a fifth of an iPod's. Nor did I suggest that they were just being their lovable old selves again -namely incompetent. All of that was filed under "must not murder people with some hope of becoming useful".

I was ushered to the service desk, where a perfectly bored copy of Mirage (of Focus and Analogue fame -demoscene reprazent whoot etc) was unable to fix a macbook problem before my turn and then started to drone on about how my problem was a clean cut case of user abuse.

Since I never really took to using the charger as a bolo implement, there ought to have been no reason to suggest this. There was no wear on the cable. There was no fraying. There were no machete marks anywhere. The worst thing was that the thing had, were scratches across the casing. Not a great feat, since the chargers and remotes come in the same kind of plastic and the very light of day scratches those critters. Considering my skepticism, he suggested to ship the thing to head office for a re-check. I was just happy I had already ordered and received a spare power adapter, since this smelled of delays.

A week later, they called. As far as they were concerned, it was a case of user abuse, not covered by warranty. I suggested they might not be up to speed with the whole "oldschool magsafe adapters are fucking weird" policy of Apple. Unable to appreciate any kind of retort, the guy merrily proceeded along the checklist for "dealing with people from outside the store". He was nice enough to drone the Apple Support phone number when I told him I'd take it up with Apple. After I emphasized it was no use, since I had no pen (or one of his colleagues to use as a memo pad). Twice.

Naturally, Apple Support spent far too much time making sure the thing would be replaced as soon as possible. They even have a form option for this kind of defect. God bless the sweet-natured helpdesk girl -they have all the info they're not supposed to tell me.

After sharing the bizarre hilarity of once more dealing with the infamous Mac Store, Andrew pleaded that I'd tell him the name of the store with such a wonderful regard of their goods. Just so he could make sure none of his friends would ever visit "that cesspit" during their stay-overs

Just so the rest of you people know: It's iCentre CS, the authorized Apple Reseller right across Amsterdam Central Station. I'd avoid them like the plague. They've repeatedly proven themselves unfit to deal with anything more than the purchase of an iPod sock. In the future, I'll deal with Apple directly -or Apple resellers worth their salt.

And the Catch-22 of the day...

One of the most beautiful suggestions of the (otherwise pretty okay) after-sales guy: "I assume we don't sell them because there has been no demand for this layout in Europe."

Am I that alone in the keyboard layout department?

Why would you want to have a US keyboard? - Part 3

A couple of days ago the quest for a normal keyboard was rekindled. Browsing the Apple store, I once again saw a promising 24hr shipping estimate for the International layout and I buckled under the urge to get my hands on it.

Two days later (i.e. today), Christmas came early. A box! With a keyboard! The product code matched, so I gleefully opened the box to get my grubby fingers all over that thing and-



Son. Of. A. BITCH.

I spent some time on the phone with after-sales. First to explain what the US International layout was and which difference it made in relation to whatever Apple's offering as a standard. The after-sales guy concurred that the keyboard in the promotional images on Apple's website came closer to my description than the thing they sent me. I was asked if I didn't feel like trying this one instead (again) and then decided to try and figure out where I could get the keyboard I really wanted.

In the end, he told me he was sorry the images on the website were incorrect, but I was not going to be able to get one. They weren't sold in Europe! He offered me a refund, and I'm typing on a Logitech keyboard instead of a delicious, slim Apple keyboard.

Again, I am getting close to sheer desperation over the completely irate policy on something as simple as a keyboard. Apple, sell me that damn keyboard. Please.

Why would you want to have a US keyboard? - Part 2

...so yes. Apple decided to relaunch their approach to a keyboard, got rid of the "let's make an antfarm display out of your dust, skin cells and spilled beer" design and got all sleek, sexy and made the keys all weird like the regular Macbook. After some cautious browsing, it turned out that Apple dropped the ball on the wireless front -no full-sized keyboard and I had to stick to the wired version. No problem there, I had used a wired Logitech keyboard since I got my Macbook, and I was pretty much comfortable with the risk of tripping over a wire and potentially using my Macbook as a very expensive projectile at that point.

However, the question loomed again.

Before even daring to walk into the maws of the ignorant Macstore blackshirts, I triple-checked the website. Not only did the dutch Apple site advertise the new keyboard in the US International layout, the online store had a plethora of different international layouts available, shipping in 24 hours.

Needless to say, the Macstore had nothing but the Dutch layouts on display. I felt in a very familiar place, but not in the right one.

I queried one of the blackshirts. He frowned, and asked what a US International layout was. I explained this. He just stared at me as if I asked him to hand over his liver, just for giggles. He then argued I might want to try the "regular" keyboard instead. I explained that, coming from the PC world (i.e. the other 95% of the world), I was far more comfortable calling the US International keyboard a "regular". he looked at me as if I wanted to buy a Mac with Windows Satan preinstalled, and told me he'd ask about this. After conversing with his colleagues in front of me, they had decided on their alibi: I was not allowed to buy one.

Excuse me?

I asked why this was the case. Apparently, I was not a US citizen and therefore not entitled to a US International keyboard. I argued that this was probably a mistake, since PC vendors had no trouble selling me a keyboard like that. They argued that my nationality barred me from having a foreign bank account (I wonder how expats handle that in his chain of logic) and that I would not be able to get one. I conceded that maybe the retail stores might work like that, but surely this was a strange policy if they offered the keyboard on the Dutch online Apple store. This was waved away with the statement that I'd be asked for a US account upon ordering, so his story was , in his lovely unicorn world, solid.

I left the store, vowing never to deal with their batshit insane logic again and left for another Mac store across town. This was another piece of comedy gold in the wait.

Since this store was a bit more off centre, the three employees were all behind the same cashiers' iMac, obviously bored out of their skulls. When I asked whether they could get me a US International version of the Apple keyboard, I was asked what that meant. I explained this to three expectant, glowing faces as if it were a bloody Christmas carol. They conceded there was a difference between my story and what they had on display, but again I was confronted with the question why I would want this.

I began to wonder if they clone people and raise them isolated from the real world in order to fill the workfloor over at the Mac stores, because being so ignorant about a common keyboard layout is bordering on insanity. It's like working in a hospital and not know how to diagnose death because you happen to work in physiotherapy.

I then tried the online stores of Mac retailers. The one that advertised with US International keyboards in stock took 10 minutes on the phone to conclude that the site was not up to date, so the keyboards were not in stock after all. You'd think online stores do not work like that. Again, I was asked why on earth I wanted a US International layout. I was assured that the other person on the phone was totally a fan of the "regular" layout and that I should just get that one.

After several botched attempts to buy a sane Apple keyboard like this, I tried ordering through the Dutch Apple store, where the promised 24h shipping became "at least a week" upon checkout. This was several weeks later -not to mention a week before my trip to Surinam would ensue.

What the hell Apple? I want a keyboard that is happily advertised on your website -even the dutch version of that site. Yet everywhere I go, I get the same old question: why would I want the layout that is the de-facto layout that you can get anywhere else in the Netherlands? I would love to be able to do this without people wearing your polos looking at me like I'm asking for a Swahili manual for Windows XP printed in dog's blood on a young girl's skin.

I tried the tax-evasive way by having a US citizen ship me one to Surinam. Turned out even the shady way was not practical -the keyboard would probably arrive five weeks after I'd have left the country.

Fun fact: I can get a US International keyboard several minutes from here. It just won't be an Apple keyboard. Apple doesn't cover Surinam -both in sales and Applecare.

Why would you want to have a US keyboard?

I wish I was joking, but yes... this was asked more often than not at all. Apparently, as somebody who does not live in the United States, I am not allowed to get my hands on the US International layout if I want to type on an Apple keyboard.

I may seemed harsh on Macstore employees previously, so I'll start and elaborate on the last beef I had with the collective retail force of Apple. Maybe this may sound familar.

One of the few reasonable people in a black shirt was the one who ordered my MBP. At that point I already had expressed the preference for a US International keyboard layout. I had noticed that the store only displayed models with a modified Dutch layout that I had no desire for. This had caused all of the employees I spoke with to look at me like I had a tentacle growing where my mouth used to be, right before that oddball question I uttered.

People who wonder what an US International keyboard looks like, I present a promotional shot from the Apple Keyboard. For some minor alterations here and there, it's like any default keyboard you can get from any other computer vendor, even in the Netherlands.

However, Apple won't sell you one. Not without a pantomine of the trivia-challenged, at least.

Buying the Macbook Pro

So yes, the friendly Macstore guy did ask me why I even wanted a US layout on my laptop. I told him why, explained the difference (he didn't know there was any) and he looked up how much time that would take. Turns out it could be anywhere between two to five weeks. I had three (until my holidays in Finland), so I was somewhat taken aback by the rough estimate. He then did a pretty neat thing: he ordered my preferred model in both the Dutch and US layout. The Dutch version would arrive in mere days and could serve as a backup if the US wouldn't arrive in time. He suggested that at a small fee, they could replace the Dutch layout with a spare part US keyboard, making it possible to obtain the right layout -only the manual and box would be dutch, which quite frankly, I couln't care less about. That keyboard, as a spare part, would be arriving in a couple of days. He assured me he'd get rid of either model, or just ship it back. No trouble at all.

Humbled by the good-natured service, I asked what the markup would be for that keyboard swap. He then told me that tech support had shut down for the evening, so a precise estimate would be impossible. He hazarded they'd charge me for the part and 15 minutes of service, but encouraged me to call in the morning to get the right numbers.

The next morning, I called the store. I explained the scenario to the tech guy. He asked why I would want a US layout. I explained that I was used to the US International layout, to which he answered he never had any trouble with the Dutch layout. I told him I was happy he could get along with it, but I had no desire to do so.

He then needed to look up the price for this, which took seven minutes. He didn't have his computer turned on. Why this had to take five minutes was a mystery, but I'm not the one who installed the machines in a Macstore.

After some on-hold moments after the computer was booted up, he told me the part was €150. Okay, that's double the price of what Ebay sellers net for it, but I wanted this to stay in warranty, so I agreed and asked for a time estimate. "At least three weeks, I'm afraid".

I told him I would think about this. I could do this as an after-sales thing if the situation was dire, but I stuck to the hopes that the MBP with the US layout would arrive on time.

A week later a message arrived. The US version had arrived at the store. I was elated and called the store about picking it up. After a confused shuffle of orders I got the news: this was not, in fact, the US version. It was the Dutch version. Again, I got asked why I wanted a US International layout. I guess the tentacle was audible through the phone. After I explained my preference I was assured that the guy I was talking to had no problems with the Dutch version. He only failed to point out I was weird in so many words.

After the weekend I decided I'd just swallow my pride, get the Dutch version and try to get it amended later. At the store, there was minor confusion about the double order (the friendly guy apparently only worked evenings and weekends, so I was SOOL). It should come as no surprise that the guy processing my order had never heard of anybody wanting a US International layout, and he assured me he thought the Dutch layout was perfect. By this time I hoped that if these people ever got banished to Hell for any reason, that the Apple keyboards would all be Dvorak.

So I spent a lot of time using a Logitech UltraX keyboard for my typing duties, until the Apple Keyboard got a delicious, slim overhaul...

Being a switcher

A lot of Mac switchers who drank the Jobs Koolaid tend to have a several-months interval before reflecting on the before-after horseplay. I intended to do it after three months, meaning I'd have to sign on to the Magical Mystery Tour on octboer 10th, but at that point I lacked the spine to blog, plus I was busy.

So it goes: I've been a Switcher for nearly four months now, and the effects are disturbing.

It should go without no introduction that I have never been much of an Apple fanboy. I loathed the machines during my stay at the academy of arts, I stayed around for the funeral around, give or take, 1997 right before Steve jobs took control of the complicated clown car accident that was Apple Computer Inc. at the time. Then I kept a lopsided, skeptical eye at what it has become right now.

I planned to jumped ship after the switch to Intel architecture, which gradually gave us Boot Camp, better bangs per buck and the promise of one hell of a hardware & software combo. I waited a while, since ATI hardware has lost my fancy after tanking 9700 Pro cards (right outside the warranty), weird X1600 performance and the fact that Linux and ATI never really managed to play in a non-volatile way.

Because yes, I went into that Mac store with black-shirted morons for a laptop that had enough GPU horsepower to suit me, and run three different Operating Systems -including Linux. I could get a laptop with a more dinky feel with two out of three for a fraction of the price, but I really wanted the unholy trinity and a laptop that looked like the designers actually gave a damn about how their product would turn out to be.

Take note that I do call the Store employees morons because honestly, when you talk to the regular Macstore employee, it would appear that the most important asset to the job is being able to fit your ham-sized neck through an L-sized Apple shirt. I've never heard such horseshit about such a limited line of hardware. One would think they could memorize at least a few facts about the few types of keyboards, mice and computers in the goddamn store. No such luck. I was baffled at the utter lack of information they could sling at me.

The first knee-jerk reaction was to install the Boot Camp beta and make sure Windows was there. Two weeks later, save for Corel Draw X3, I had all but dropped Windows. Most of the stuff can be done through Parallels and only for demos I tend to drop back to Boot Camp. It's astonishing how much I enjoy the OS X part of my laptop.

A stern object lesson in how much Windows lacks elegance you take for granted in OS X was the switching between being on the road (just the laptop) and returning home. I have a desk with a Dell 24" display and a bunch of devices, including a simple usb hub, mouse and keyboard. OS X just goes on to business and introduces me with the display and the added usb mayhem as if it's yesterday evening. Windows lets me do the "I'm installing stuff" dance again and forces me to spend time to reconfigure my displays to operate properly. Just because I was naive enough to use my laptop on the road. I can think of better things to do when coming home.

A lot of the other stuff pleases me too, but this sticks out like a sore thumb. Linux and OSX have absolutely no trouble with my dynamic setup. The only things that stop me from using Windows are my unholy love for Corel Draw, Picasa not being OSX native yet and the bizarre joy I get from using Jeskola Buzz.

Other than that, this is a platform I thoroughly enjoy handing a kidney, arm and limb for. Let's see if the novelty wears off.